The issue of in-laws is one which many wives wish did not exist in marriage. This is because it is the bane of many ailing marriages. websitereviewer Many daughters-in-law tend to dislike their mothers-in-law and very few daughters-in-law have ever had any thing good to say about a mother-in-law. Many spinsters wish that they will not have one when they marry their husbands.
Many mothers-in-law are often seen as overbearing, busybodies and a wife’s greatest rival. The questions to ask are:
‘Why are mothers-in-law generally understood by their daughters-in-law?’ ‘Are mothers-in-law truly bad?’
In many homes across the world, especially in African settings, there is usually an unending, raging conflict between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law.
There are two parties to the conflict – the wife and her husband on one hand and the mother-in-law on the other hand. thebrandastute To be able to provide understand the causes of the conflict, it is pertinent to assess the roles played by each party to the conflict.
The wife and her husband
Many wives, especially African wives, come into marriage, fully prepared for battle based on pre-conceived notions that mothers-in-law are evil and must be put in their right places. Thus they have formed an opinion of their in-laws and have concluded that the in-laws are antagonists. So, if a wife has a kind and loving mother-in-law, she would misconstrue everything that the mother-in-law says or does.
A wife may have an illusion that once her husband marries her, he must abandon his parents and cling to her. This illusion is based on a scripture that says that ” A man will leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife”. thedigitaluprise By their faulty interpretation of this scripture, they seem to forget that the same scripture commands that ‘a man should honor his parents”
A sensible man will not abandon his parents because he married a wife. He must continue to relate with them and to provide for them. However, his relationship with them should not allow unnecessary interference in his affairs, especially marital affairs by his relations.
Unfortunately, in many places especially in Africa, relations do interfere in the marital affairs of a married relation and this attitude is a product of an African’s cultural values particularly the extended family system.
The extended family system of the Africans is a beautiful and commendable cultural system that allows a member to be his brother’s keeper. However, one major defect of this system is a member’s assumed right to meddle in the marital affairs of another member.
No parent has the right to meddle in the marital affairs of a son except the son grants them the power to do so. useyourspeak Such powers, when given are often abused and the mother-in-law is the chief culprit. A son who grants rights of interference to his relations is obviously lacking in maturity and is still in bondage to his parents i.e. tied to their apron strings. Marriage is for adults and real men. Real men are not just men by physique as some men really are. Maturity is the ability to take full responsibility for one’s actions and to face one’s challenges